May 02, 2010 — TLC for Your Family #15 – Opportunities in Conflict

TLC for Your Family #15 – Opportunities in Conflict
May 02, 2010


"All conflict is inside ourselves and how we approach it determines whether we will resolve it and learn from it and grow from it or whether we will be 'saddled' with it and carry its burden for years and possibly a lifetime."

This idea has been on my mind ever since a recent misunderstanding with my mother-in-law.

It’s in these kinds of interactions that I learn the most. I get to practice empathy. I get to practice finding compassion. I get to practice attributing understandable human needs to someone’s actions, even when those actions are different from the ones I would have preferred. I get to practice focusing on what I believe the person’s future actions are likely to be, rather than what I fear they might be. I get to practice acceptance of what I cannot control, or sometimes even influence. In short, I get to grow, learn, and in those ways at least, actually benefit.

And, as a bonus, I often get to experience being heard and helped in return. That is, when I offer someone the gift of being heard, they often feel relieved, with their needs for trust and consideration being unexpectedly met. This then seems to leave them more likely to want to really hear and find compassion for me and where I’m coming from. And from there, we’re more likely to find a solution that meets both our needs.

What an opportunity!

You can read more about how that works at my Nonviolent Family Communication webpage. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the budding days of spring, and all the opportunities that come your way in the days ahead.

Tiffany L. Clark
Family Communication Instructor,
Family Lawyer-Mediator,
and Family-Life and Parenting Coach

Discover What Might be Possible in Your Family Life!
PLEASE NOTE: The rules governing my profession advise I inform you of the following. Issues of this ezine may periodically contain messages concerning Tiffany L. Clark’s availability for professional employment within the meaning of California Rule of Professional Conduct 1-400. In any case, no statement in any ezine issue is intended to guarantee any result in any individual case. And neither viewing the information contained in this email, nor communicating with Tiffany, nor attending a talk or workshop series, establishes any duty of confidentiality, mediator-client relationship, coach-client relationship, or attorney-client relationship. These can only be established with a signed client fee agreement for mediation, coaching, or legal services respectively.



You can leave comments by clicking here, leave a trackback at or subscibe to the RSS Comments Feed for this post.