May 01, 2011 — TLC for Your Family #26 – Losing a Relative

TLC for Your Family #26 – Losing a Relative
May 01, 2011


Have you ever lost a relative? Have your children yet experienced death?

My grandmother passed away a week ago.

I cried when I heard.

Although I had known it was coming, there was something so sad about hearing it had actually happened.

She was 99 years old when she died. She had lived through two world wars. She had lived through the Great Depression. And she was two months old when the RMS Titanic sank.

Yet she was still amongst us, until just a few days ago.

And now she is gone.

I feel so sad that her life has ended. That life has to end. That death is a part of life.

And I wish we had been closer. When I was about 7 years old, my mother moved my brother and I hundreds of miles away from where she lived. I didn’t see her as often as I would have liked. And when I did, I found she was more busy than I would have liked.

Yet I loved her.

And I felt overwhelmed with emotion hearing of her death.

And I treasure the many dear memories I have of her.

Like the incredible softness of her wrinkled skin.

Like her tone of voice and turn of phrase.

Like how she’d whistle under her breath as she worked. It’s a habit I inherited, and one my husband finds quite endearing, in part because it reminds him of her.

As you are receiving this ezine, my family and I on our way to her funeral in Southern California. We’ll join there with all of our other relatives, to mourn her passing, and celebrate her life.

It will be my sons’ first encounter with death. They remember her well, having seen her as recently as last Thanksgiving. I believe this event will affect them both deeply, as just hearing the news already has.

What a hard lesson for a child to learn. The cycle of life. So incomprehensible in so many ways, even when we become “rational adults.”

A reminder, for me, to treasure each, precious, fleeting moment that I am given.

But a bittersweet reminder.

I am holding in my heart all of us who have lost ones we love. Whether we're children, coming to terms with death for the first time. Or whether we're adults, experiencing something again that we'll never truly get used to.

It is my hope that we'll see both the part of the glass that's half empty – the loss – and the part of the glass that's half full – the life that goes on. A death in spingtime is the epitomy of both. Even as life passes, new life blossoms all around.

Love and "Happy Family-ing" to you and yours.

Tiffany Clark
Family Communication Instructor
Family Lawyer-Mediator
Family-Life, Parenting and Conflicts Coach

Discover What Might be Possible in Your Family Life!

PLEASE NOTE: The rules governing my profession advise I inform you of the following. Issues of this ezine may periodically contain messages concerning Tiffany L. Clark’s availability for professional employment within the meaning of California Rule of Professional Conduct 1-400. In any case, no statement in any ezine issue is intended to guarantee any result in any individual case. And neither viewing the information contained in this email, nor communicating with Tiffany, nor attending a talk or workshop series, establishes any duty of confidentiality, mediator-client relationship, coach-client relationship, or attorney-client relationship. These can only be established with a signed client fee agreement for mediation, coaching, or legal services respectively. Please also note that Tiffany is not a psychologist or therapist. Therefore, she is not capable of diagnosing you or any of your family members, or providing any other services only a licensed mental health professional could provide. You are advised to turn to such professionals if you desire such assistance.



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